this is my world, my life

All Hail the Third Semester!

2011-12-09T12:11:00.003+07:00

Happy Friday :)

It's almost half a year since I updated this blog. Well, I, personally, don't think that there'll be someone who's continuously checking my blog just to be updated. That's the primary reason why I created this blog at the first place. I just need some place to throw up the thoughts on my head without drawing attention. If someone read, that's just a bonus for me.

The third semester was really tough. I fell, so hard. Now I'm continuously worrying about my GPA. My first and second semester was fine. There weren't much problem. Even when there were some, it weren't worrisome and were solvable.

I participate too much on the campus organization and event committee. I had had 3 jobs done, yet 4 to go as a committee. I barely have time to study. Well, I wasn't that kinda study-for-ever person, but at least on the first year I was able to spare some time to study at home. I can't do it at home. The time I arrive, I'm already worn out of fatigue. I can only spare a very little time to do the job which deadline is the very next day. Yes, I am a horrible deadliner.

I don't think I can maintain my GPA at the same level as my first year's. My mid-term test were horrible, almost dreadful for some lectures. I didn't pay much attention on lecturers. It was very hard to make my eyes keep opening while listening to their "lullaby".

Well, I can't keep complaining without doing nothing. These past weeks' been a bit nicer. I attend class and try to understand (not only listen) what the lecturers are explaining. Yes, I regret it. Everyone's already ahead of me, in things that I skipped in class the past half semester.

Bismillah aja dulu deh, belajar lagi yang bener.

The point is, that I'm really grateful that He poked me at the middle of the semester, so that I won't regret more than I already did. Makasih banyak ya Allah :')

And I can't thank Him enough for giving me a very delightful week. Life's been hard, but there's always be a silver lining. This time, it's you.

고마워요 :)

니니스

These days...

2011-07-18T22:21:00.004+07:00

Well, I have been living a dream these days. A full month of joy, tears, hurtful, sadness, excitement, you name it.

Sometimes I want to surrender. I don't want to be able to feel. Just let me be someone who just don't care how I feel for others. People often say that there's always a rainbow behind a rain. But what they don't notice is that, the rain should be happening first before the rainbow comes.

I really like being with people I'm comfortable with. I just can't cope with the emptiness I feel whenever I'm alone. Well, there are people I'm counting on to expel all the emptiness. I hope I won't bother them by bombardizing them with chats.

Hey, you. Don't you know that I adore you? But I think it's better for me not to keep up with things like this. Not now. Not tomorrow, I just don't know.

Friends

2011-07-01T18:40:00.004+07:00

Anyeong :D

I'm still in the middle of college's holiday. It's a very long three months free of college. Well some of my friends may be learning and enhancing their abilities in the Computer Science while I'm here... leisuring, enjoying some fresh air that I couldn't get when I'm in the college.

This past month has been so suffocating. The whole organization things really drove me nuts. I felt like I couldn't even breathe for a second. Well, that may be too cliché, but I really meant it. I remembered the old high school days when some friends of mine kept telling me that college would never be as busy as high school (at that time, I was a student of a quite good high school that requires its student to rush to keep up the rhythm of the school).

That all slowly being wept away by the wind of college.

I'm glad that I'm used to keeping up the beat of my study. But after all, it's friends who keep me hanging on to the thin rope of hope.

This post is dedicated for this awesome girl:

Farah Shafira Effendi

The one who always makes me feel secure is this particular girl who loves soccer than anything else. She is always energetic, passionate, optimist, and all the positive energy. But what's great is

that, she is always be loved by anyone who really knows her. Such an adorable girl :)

I really am lucky to have her as my friend, through what I'd done during junior high. Well, I'd like you to know that I won't let her down, ever.

Dear, God. I won't ask You for something stupid such as not to tear us apart because it can happen any time due to any circumstances. I'm just asking that You'll keep this communication till we're old together. hehe. The girls' party that is always loud because some of them really have a loud voice hehe, the boys who are so kind even what they do mostly are playing. hehe. That includes everyone :)

Vielen Dank, Freundin und Freundinnen :D

Final Exam of the Second Semester

2011-05-27T23:23:00.004+07:00

Annyeonghaseo :D

It's been so long. I had never had a chance to just post anything in my blog. I'm sorry, it's not because of my laziness, but it's due to the hectic schedule this semester.

Well, now I'm doing my final exam. 2 to go. I've just had Linear Algebra and Data Structures & Algorithm exam. Glad that I didn't find it as terrifying as the mid-term test. Well, I might have not answered it perfectly, but at least I've tried. Monday will be the day where Introduction to Digital System takes all my mind and soul away. I kinda like it, but, somehow I think the curriculum urges us to rush.

Ah, the last exam will be Basic Physics 2. To my surprise, I don't remember any of it. I've already found physics really makes me upset. I'm not going to hate it nor give it up. Well, it's worth trying, and I dont detest it. I just have to make some adjustments in my learning way.

Ah, capek juga ngetik pake bahasa Inggris. Maklum, udah lama ga dipake. Hehehe.

Mungkin akan sangat membosankan kalo gue cerita tentang kurikulum dan mata kuliah yang gue dapet. Yah, gue tau nggak semua pengguna internet hobinya komputer dan mengerti segala istilah yang berhubungan dengan pemrograman. Oleh karena itu, yang akan gue share di sini bukan (atau mungkin belum, gue belum memutuskan) mata kuliah yang gue ambil, tapi pelajaran lain apa yang gue dapet selama nyaris setahun jadi anak kuliahan.

Lesson #1:

I could be dead, literally dead, if I learn it all by myself.

Di dunia perkuliahan, nggak mungkin lo bisa melakukan semuanya sendiri (throw new gueAnakJeniusJadiGueBisaNgelakuinSemuaSendiri exception). Some of us may still hold faith on this, but it really is self-destructing. Nggak ada baik-baiknya buat dirilo sendiri. Yang ada kalo lo nggak ngerti, lo nggak bisa 'berpegangan' pada siapa-siapa.

Lesson #2:

I'd better have a zero than copying someone's work.

Yaah, gue sih jujur gamau juga dapet nol. Tapi gue beneran gamau dapet nilai yang bukan karena kemampuan gue (kalo lo dizalimi dosen atau asdos, itu hal lain lagi). Tiga tahun sekolah di SMA yang kebetulan lumayan, gue bisa mengamati lingkungan gue. Orang-orang yang 'yah-asal-nilai-gue-bagus' sama yang bener-bener belajar meskipun susah mengerti beda jauh nasibnya pas di tempat kuliah. Di kuliah nggak ada lagi tuh Pilihan Ganda yang dulu membuai kita sampe bisa pada tidur pas ujian (karena toh tinggal "sst, nomor xx (pake kode jari) apaan?"). Semua essay, semua harus lo mengerti sendiri.

Sebenernya masih ada lagi sih, tapi waktu sudah menunjukkan bahwa sebentar lagi hari akan segera berganti. Gue masih harus ngeprint materi buat belajar besok. Hehehe

Sampai ketemu lain kali, ya :D

I'll Be Back (cc: I'll Be Back - 2PM)

2011-01-11T18:36:00.002+07:00

January 11th, 2011

Well, the title of this post is definitely odd as a title. People used to title their comeback post as "I'm back" or whatsoever. So, why did I title my comeback post as "I'll be back"?

Yep! You got my point. hahaha
At first I was planning on re-aliving this blog (anyway, I've said this in one of my post back then, eh?), but I didn't think that'll happen. I know I'm not going to be busy for about two weeks from now, yet I'm going to start my routinity as a college student afterward.
I can't promise to write more often or else, this is what I can do. I just write spontaneously whenever I remember and have time. yaa, that's kinda rare when I've attended college.

ah, by the way, yesterday was my birthday! I'm 19 dear people! 19! (yea I know, I didn't even believe it at first)
But I don't think anything's changed. I don't change. Well, mentally not, physically yes. hahahahahahahahaha *I just keep on laughing even this is really sad for me, such a quite-mature-girl-trapped-in-a-highschooler-body. oh, sad :(
naaah, it was my fault. Back at the elementary, I started to lift heavy backpack that pressed my backbone too hard. It still continues until now.

Ah, ya, I'm still on a holiday, till February 6th.
Boring.
The first day of my college's holiday was January 1st. and guess what? It was only yesterday I enjoyed having fun. The whole day was soooooooo delightful, as if that day was made only for me (yea, it's my birthday anyway). The quite-late dinner at De Cost Rawamangun Square was the top of the joy-graph. I went there with my family (minus father and my closest younger sister) and boyfriend. Have I revealed his name on this blog? I forgot. hahaha
Anyway, I ate so-damn-much that night that I wasn't able to eat anything anymore.

Well, that's all for tonight, I guess.
Catcha later, fellas :D

Nisrina Rahmah

I Think I Abandoned This Blog

2010-10-14T13:47:00.002+07:00

Well, this is a very quick post. I just wanna share a bit.

Now I am a college student, yay! I think my routinity doesn't allow me to touch anything regarding posting things.

Later on, fellas. I'm gonna make this blog alive (again). hahaha

Hey, Sensitive Girl!

2009-09-27T23:17:00.002+07:00

Hello! I'm still alive.

Ugh, I hate being 3rd grader. I hate all those UN things. I hate all about preparatory exams for universities. I hate having no choice. I hate my duties for ART 43. I hate being alone for somewhat. I hate everything.

Literally, I hate being me at this moment.

I admit that I am a very sensitive person, and there is a time in a month where I get myself profoundly sensitive, which is this time when I write this post.

My bf canceled our plan for tomorrow, this was clearly not his fault. He's not guilty, but I felt my heart itching from the inside.
Take a look at this conversation (I translate it to English, it was in Indonesian, but I want his voice saying those words in Indonesian to be mine alone, no one can hear it. hehehe)
Him : "about tomorrow's plan... I'm sorry I can't make it. I have to blablablabla....."
Me : "........"
Him : "Is it okay?"
Me : (sobbing quietly) "Yeah, it's okay"
Him : "Are you sure?"
Me : (tears coming down from my eyes) "Yea"
Yea I lied. I've told him that I lied saying that was okay to cancel our plan. I understood his situation. If I were him I would have done so.

The point was when I was so sensitive that I immediately cried right after I heard him saying that he couldn't make it. The afternoon I was so happy thinking about meeting him tomorrow. I acted like a kid who is full of energy. I couldn't stop smiling. Well, maybe it's because I was too excited and happy that I finally have to swallow a very bitter pill in the end.

Super-Quick Post

2009-07-27T22:26:00.002+07:00

Damn. I've been so busy last week so I can't even touch my notebook.

As what the title has said, this is a super-quick post. Lately, I've been so tired of being a committee in Schoolympic Carnival 2009. That I am extremely tired attending Schoolympic 4 days in-a-row had driven me nuts. Besides, I lost 4 days school. This means that I need to catch up with the lessons I've left behind.

and I am stuck again in my daily routine. I'll post something if I have any spare time, I promise

Ciao, Fellas!

p.s. do you mind to follow my twitter, pals? (click here)

It's Half Empty

2009-07-14T19:00:00.003+07:00

I won't tell you much here. Yeah, as the title has said in the beginning of this post, it's half empty. Seems like all my happiness and joy are fading away, leaving me in an emptiness.

There's been a lotta things change these days. Neither of them affects me positively. I'm drowning, falling, breathless. It will kill me, soon.

All the sorrow, the pain, the silent, and the wound kill me a lot faster. I'm bleeding, desperate for freeing myself. Yet I won't change a thing. I know it's embarrassing.

For the days that have passed, today, and the days I will be living on, I will always be this way. Okay, too much drama, Nis.

Report Card (or Sheet?)

2009-06-26T13:07:00.004+07:00

Whoaaa! Besok bagi raport!

Geeez I hope tomorow will be fine. Semoga nilai gue seenggaknya sama kayak semester lalu, lah. If it's worse, well, I think I have to admit that I didn't do my best this semester. Aaaaah yasudahlah, pelajaran.

I really miss the old Report Book, not Report Sheet like nowadays. Ngerepotin banget ya raport satu semester aja berlembar-lembar. Terkutuklah kau Sistem Administrasi Sekolah! *wets, no offense. nanti gue masuk penjara juga sama kayak Prita. It's only an aspiration anyway. I prefer book rather than sheet, easier to keep and harder to lose.

Anyway, semoga besok hasilnya gak terlalu mengecewakan. Amin!

Controlling Emotions

2009-06-19T19:59:00.006+07:00

Well, I admit that I'm an emotional person. It's just so easy to make me mad and yell. Errr, actually this is my biggest problem in my life. I'm serious! I've had many quarrels with my family, just because I don't like being asked continuously when I don't wanna answer.

And few days ago, I had a big mental fight. In the end, I cried. I locked myself in my room, then.

After that fight, I figured out that I need to control my emotions. Yeah, it's damn hard. I tried the following day, and failed totally because I, again, had a fight the next day. Geez I cursed myself for being so emotional that day! I locked myself in my room, again, just because I felt comfortable alone, so that I won't hurt nor being hurt by anyone.

This day I succeed !

Yeah! I succeed for not letting my big mouth saying some harsh words, succeed for not letting my emotions control me and I control them instead, for not doing such an over-joking, for keeping myself away from the others so that I won't hurt them while I'm seeing red. I've learned much today :)

And I really am ready to change. I am ready to be a new person, leaving my old habit far in the past, welcoming the new me in an open hand since I am willing to be mature. Ah, what a transition.

Why does it take us so much for turning from a girl (teenager) to a woman (adult)?

Ciao, my turning-to-an-adult Fellas! Transition is always hard, yet it is a treasure when we've overcome it :)

Liburan = Miskin

2009-06-19T10:59:00.002+07:00

Well, as a student who haven't earned her money by herself, yet I am suffering so much when holiday comes. Sumber uang gue beku selama sebulan, yeah, it'll be flowing right down to my hands when I get back to school, yet it's still a month until that happens.

Kalo kayak gini sih emang enakan di rumah aja, I don't have to withdraw any money. Bored, yeah, so much, with not-so-many things to do. Hiburan gue cuma buku, notebook, dan cellphone. But the last one I mention is running out of happiness. Pulsa utama sih masih banyak, and I don't really care about it, only using it for browsing, anyway. Masalah terbesar adalah karena gue sangat addicted kepada text messaging. Pulsa SMS gue saat ini tinggal 561 SMS lagi. I don't think I can handle this in a month. Jujur, sayang banget ngeluarin pulsa utama buat SMS. Yeah, my provider costs me Rp 100,- if I text someone dari pulsa utama. Wuidih mahal bener cuy.

Di saat bersamaan, liburan ini bikin gue miskin parah. Hahaha. Gue terbiasa dapet uang jajan gue secara harian, jadi gue gak terlalu ambil pusing soal nyimpenin duit in a holiday like this. Hahaha. Masih belom mikir terlalu panjang, yea I know.

Anyway, I'll get rid of this problem, soon. The must be a way out since that every cloud has a silver lining.

Ciao, Fellas!

Can You Raed Tihs?

2009-06-18T13:59:00.002+07:00

I really like to read many funny things in Chainletters.net (read it when you have spare time). I found this funny things there :

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a tatol mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Can you read that? I was so surprised to see it. Hehehe

Ciao, Fellas!

Award

2009-06-17T21:04:00.004+07:00

Actually, I've just realised that I'd been tagged by Cynthia JS ;p

thanks a bunch!

What is your current obsession?
Getting sponsors for Schoolympic CarnIVal

What is your weirdest obsession?
being normal. hahaha

What are you wearing today?
pajamas

What’s for dinner today?
Indomie rasa Ayam Spesial

Why is today special?
I played DDR! hahaha

What would you like to learn to do?
not to hurt others

What’s the last thing you bought?
Indomie rasa Ayam Spesial

What are you listening to right now?
nothing, just a television tuning in

What is your favorite weather?
spring

What is your most challenging goal right now?
gathering ten million rupiahs!

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
a good friend :)

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
anywhere near my school

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
money. hahaha (beneran terobsesi ngumpulin dana)

What would you like to get rid of?
mbak mbak operator perusahaan yang jutek & galak

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
companies, hoping they'll sponsor Schoolympic. hahaha

Which language do you want to learn?
proper english, of course. a little bit old english is challenging

What do you look for in a friend?
trustworthiness, dependabilities

Who do you want to meet in person?
the one who've just texted me :D

What’s your favorite type of music?
any kind of music

What’s the favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
idk, don't really care

What is your dream job?
great mother to my future child, as well a great wife to my future husband

Any favorite models?
nope

If you had £100 now what would you spend it on?
langsung taro di kas Schoolympic. hahaha

Favorite designer?
no one, don't pay attention

Fashion pet peeve?
errr, idk

Do you admire anyone’s style?
nope

Describe your personal style
weird but happy

Tag?
everyone in my friend's blog's list, they're incredible!

Kekejaman Photo-Commenting di Facebook

2009-06-17T18:16:00.005+07:00

Well, don't think anything negative from the title of this post ;D

Okay, let me explain. Jadi, pada hari terakhir kelas XI IPA E 2010 SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta, kami selaku anak-anak tak berguna yang sudah bodo amat soal sumatif decided to take a photo session. Well, as always, there were a lotta excitement inside my class. Jadilah kami merencanakan sebuah foto yang teramat sangat menarik untuk diedit. Ide kreatifnya dari saudari Meivita Sarah, who uploaded an album cover of "Temanggungan", which is more likely a dangdut group. Gue pun memutuskan buat mengedit foto temen-temen gue menjadi album cover Temanggungan tersebut

Here it is:

Then I uploaded it in my photo album in Facebook. At first, I was so delighted to see that my classmates welcomed this photo and started to make very funny jokes about it (damn cool funny jokes, dude!). Then, the comments started to be outta topic. Yah, wajarlah, jadi ngomong yang macem". Tapi yang sangat-sangat sulit dipercaya, komen tersebut beranjak banyak. Temen-temen gue dengan kejam nambahin komentar di foto itu hampir setiap hari. and right now, it's 476 comments just for that photo. Hahaha

it's 476 and still increasing!

Personally, gue sih gak ngerasa risih atau gimana gimana gitu mengenai komentar yang terlanjur banyak ini. Hahaha. Gue malah seneng banget karena foto ini mendekatkan kami semua (XI IPA E). Bahkan ada keinginan dari kawan-kawan kalo kami bakal terus mengomentari (gak ngomentarin juga, sih, cuma berkicau gak jelas aja, hahaha) foto tersebut sampe genap 1000, lalu kami tumpengan, deh. Hahaha

And I really am missing my classmates :(

sebentar lagi kami semua berpisah. Beruntung yang sekelas lagi nanti di kelas XII. Let this photo be our everlasting memory ya kawan-kawan :)

Semoga kita semua naik kelas dengan nilai yang memuaskan ya ipa e :)

Adios Amigos!

Favourite Games

2009-06-17T15:41:00.004+07:00

this morning I played DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) in my PS2. two hours later, sweats covered all over my body. hahaha. actually, I'm not an active-girl at home. I have my own world with my own gadgets (especially my cellphone). Decided to lose some weigh, I tried to move my body a little. Yeah, you know, being at home with nothing to do than being online, eating, sleeping. What a wonderful world when holiday comes! hahaha

Anyway, try to do it frequently if you wanna lose some weigh. (And make sure you don't play the Beginner level, try higher level, dude!)

I really miss my schoolmates, badly

and also him...

Ciao, Fellas!

Handicrafts

2009-06-14T23:22:00.003+07:00

I just wanna post my handicrafts here. I've written about it in my previous post. Jadiii, daripada ditunda-tunda lagi mending gue upload fotonya sekarang deh. Hehehe

I'll explain the top pic first. There are a box and a key holder. The key holder which has a letter "A" on itself was the one that I dedicated for my dearest friend in LIA. His name was Achmad Abizar Algifari. He handed me his book about how to make cute present from flannel, so I decided to hand him something in return. The key holder was the one I can think of. Hehehe

The other one, is Melida Leviani's birthday present. Stats, okay, I know it's quite simple and usual. Tapi yang ada di kepala gue waktu membungkus barang" tersebut adalah, "Yang penting barang ini bisa berguna buat Meli. Something she'll use more than once."

Well, itu doang sih. I just wanna keep my promise in my previous post ;p

Ciao, Fellas!

These Days

2009-06-11T18:28:00.002+07:00

Well actually, I'm not in the mood to write something.

Thanks for noticing this blog, writing something in my chatbox (I really appreciate it, fellas!). And please forgive me if I haven't replied your chat :(

A lotta things have happened these days. Mulai dari masa masa terakhir merasakan nikmatnya jadi anak kelas XI, segala sumatif yang menyita waktu menguras tenaga, foto-foto heboh di hari terakhir sekelas. Huaaaaaaah. I really don't wanna be separated from my classmates. They already have their own place deep inside my heart. T^T

Fortunately, I almost got a clean-sheet for my summative test. Cuma remed satu pelajaran, itu juga sejarah. *eh, yang ini juga belom pasti remed deh*. Hahaha

But there are many things to do this month. The hardest part is gathering funds for my school's project. *All Hail Schoolympic!*

Anyway, whoever you are, wherever you are now, be at Schoolympic's implementation on July 21st-25th 2009!

Ah, I almost forget. Actually I wanna post some of my handicrafts which I made for my friends. They're still in my cellphone rite now, too busy and too lazy to send those things to this notebook. Hahaha

Maybe I'll post it in the weekend.

Ciao Fellas!

Today's School : Duller than Ever

2009-05-14T19:04:00.007+07:00

O, God! How can it be duller than what I've imagined before?

Today's school, wasn't worth enough. I'd studied all night long for Physics test. But guess what? The teacher even forgot that my class was going to have a test. Errrrgggghhh

Okay, this morning I woke up early. I surprised, of course, since that I slept at 11.30 PM last night. I took a bath, prepared my books for today's lesson, and I wrapped my friend's birthday present. I'd bought it about a week ago but I forgot to wrap it since that I was so busy that I couldn't even have a chance to attend her birthday party. I'm sorry Dwi :( I couldn't find you in the school today. (Or maybe I didn't try as hard as possible, sorry)

First Lesson : Biology

Dull Meter : 30%

All I had to do this entire lesson was just checking other class' test paper. It was so damn long. My teacher hadn't type all the answer key so he needed much time to check it. It wasn't even finished, yet. We could only check 35/60 numbers. Dull! With every single person asking whether their friends' answer was right or wrong, it produced more than a distraction, very noisy sound.

Second Lesson : Sport

Dull meter : 80%

It was raining, we had to do sport in class. What? In class? It was so damn dull when the teacher tried to explain the benefits of spending our spare time in a healthy way. He wasn't a kind of hey-all-attention-to-me person, he was dull. Talking and talking and talking *seemed like buzzing for me. Finally he couldn't take it any longer and he decided to leave the class.

Third Lesson : Art

Dull meter : 25%

Actually, this is one of my favorite subjects. I love to draw, a lot, although my drawing isn't good. Hehehe

I draw a perspective and its shadow. I post it here :

Fourth Lesson : Mathematics

Dull Meter : 75%

This used to be my favorite subjects, but not at that event *when I was going to have a Physics test. I completely ignored this lesson. (ngerasa pinter padahal bego). Okay, I was studying Physics during this subject.

Last, and was the only one I was waiting for : Physics

Dull Meter : 100%

O, God! What things could be worse than this? Read this short conversation.

My Friend : "Loh, Pak, kok gak bawa kertas?"
My Teacher : "Hah? Emang kalian ulangan?"

Then he decided to postpone the test until Monday/Tuesday. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I'd studied, notice it, I'd STUDIED.

What can be duller than those creepy things? I'd studied all night long and it was useless. It would be better if I hadn't study the previous night. Grrrrrr

All way back home, I was so sleepy. I went back home myself. Using public transportation, a big one, with a reddish-orange cute color. Hahaha, it was metro mini by the way.

okay, it is 47, I couldn't find any on the web with "46" or "61" on its body. Hahaha. I use 61 from my school to Jatinegara, then I catch 46 to continue my journey to home.

Aaaaah, what a dull day.

Luckily I still can post something in this blog, fooling around at Facebook, and read some chapters of Bleach in Onemanga (Y)

O, Dull Days

2009-05-12T09:55:00.004+07:00

I hate local holiday like this.

Only 1st & 2nd grader have the holiday, in particular days, different from other schools. eeeerrrrgggghhh

Okay, it drives me insane. My first local holiday was filled with reading book, withdrawing money from the bank, waiting, and last but not least, studying.

I can't believe that I can't enjoy my holiday. I need to study, or at least, attend my english course in Monday & Wednesday and also another course in Tuesday.

In short, I don't have a holiday.

For me, holiday is having nothing to do. hahahahahaha

Yeah, resting my head & body for a while, recharging myself to get ready to face upcoming exams. Aaaaaaaaah, final exam is on the waaaaaaay! O, God!

Today is the last day for me to be on the web. Tomorrow I've got to study Physics to prepare myself for the test. It's going to be tough. Two chapters. Huah. I can't understand why my teacher do this to us. Everyone said that the teachers do everything in order to prevent cheating. But that's not gonna work, anyway. We, students, always find a way to cheat. hahaha. Believe it or not, it's like playing cat & dog with the teachers.

Aaaah, I've been so busy last week so I couldn't post anything. I'm sorry fellas!

If I have much time, I'll post anything in my mind. But not this time. It's going to be busier than ever because I'm going to face a final exam. Grrrr

Again, these days are so DULL. *except a fine Saturday evening, hahaha

Today's Mood Level

2009-04-29T23:32:00.004+07:00

2.04 AM

☺☺☺☺☺

gue ngantuk, beneran ngantuk banget abis ngerjain tugas bahasa jerman. have u read my post titled homework? i've mentioned it.

setengah jam kemudian gue baru bisa pules tidur

4.45 AM

☺☺☺☺☺

i feel a little bit better even though i only had slept for two hours.

6.30 AM

☺☺☺☺☺

it's nice to see friends. meski begitu masuk kelas gue langsung memposisikan diri buat tidur (yang pada akhirnya gak bisa gue lakukan).

09.45 AM

☺☺☺☺☺

shit. perut gue nyeri karena sesuatu yang memang sudah seharusnya terjadi. but i assumed that it was mostly caused by last night. i didn't take a proper sleep

10.00 AM

☺☺☺☺☺

sakit perutnya bener-bener parah, ditambah lagi kepala yang super pusing karena gak dapet waktu istirahat yang cukup. i think my brain was going to blown up. I WAS DEFINITELY NOT IN THE MOOD

11.17 AM

☺☺☺☺☺

someone saved me from the deep burden. i was going to meet someone i'd love to see

04.03 PM

☺☺☺☺☺

yeaaaaah, i've got my medicine! not literally medicine, of course. it's my mood booster :D

04.15 - 04.55 PM

☺☺☺☺☺

i even forgot that i was having a great headache and a damn irritating stomach. someone's presence had hypnotized me. it was waaaaay more than fun, it's cooling me down. having a very bad day like today has always driven me nuts. i'm lucky that i have a kinda medicine to calm me down

05.00 PM - present

☺☺☺☺☺

well, it may not be as full as what it has been the previous hours. but i've forgot all of the sorrow i've had this entire day.

there's only peace and happiness left when you've loved someone sincerely

ketulusan adalah keikhlasan hati :D

Adios Amigos !

Here Comes the Last Day

2009-04-26T23:00:00.003+07:00

Evening everyone!

Tomorrow is Monday. Here comes my ordinary school life. I wish there'll be another holiday. But unfortunately it won't be. Come back to the reality, dude!

Meanwhile, I haven't done my essay homework. I've done half, and perfectly ignoring another half. Whatever! What can you do when you don't know how to do something? My teacher haven't told my class how to work on the essay. Bahasa Indonesianya sih, kayak makan gaji buta. Nyuruh-nyuruh doang, kagak ngasih tau gimana cara bikinnya.

Kata Andika Chaktiaji Zulfiqar, besok gak ada upacara (insya Allah). So, I think I'll do half of the essay tomorrow morning, along with my friends.

Aaaaaaaah, why should the holiday be over?

Saturday, April 25th 2009

2009-04-26T11:51:00.004+07:00

What a blast!

Yesterday eve was really a joyous eve :D

Well, itu puncaknya. To make it long, I'll share my whole-day story. If you don't wanna read it, just please close this window asap. Okay? Deal or No Deal?

6:00 AM

Bangun tidur, sadar kalo hari ini gue punya banyak kegiatan di luar rumah. Well, cuma dua sih, tapi bakal menyita waktu gue dari pagi sampe sore.

But then, I continued to sleep. Holiday's atmosphere!

6.45 AM

Mati! Udah mau jam 7 aje.

I rushed in to the bathroom, took a bath, prepared myself getting ready to go to LIA. Yeah, yesterday was the training day.

Bagaimanapun juga, gue telat sampe sana. Hahaha. Harusnya gue sampe disana before 7.30 AM, but I got there at 8.10 AM. Biasalah, atmosfer liburan emang bikin telat. *apa cuma buat gue doang ya?

8.10 AM - 4.05 PM

1st Session of Training

Wow. The training was sooooooo loooooooong. Listening to the moderator was so damn dull. He explained this, explained that, asked this, asked that. It might be fun if he was explaining about anything interesting to hear. But actually he was explaining about debating.

Okay, it was a little bit interesting when students from UI & STAN were exhibiting the debate battle. Cool. Hehehe. I was introduced to many weird words such as TH, THW, THBT, motion, rebuttal, etc. It's damn cool. Seriously.

2nd Session of Training

Kalo sesi pertama tadi, itu sekaligus technical meeting buat semua peserta lomba debat. Naaah, sesi yang ini khusus buat Pramuka LIA debaters. We are trained by a professional debate trainer. Actually, it wasn't all about debate practicing. At first we were introduced to the debating world. Whooaaaa, can you believe all of the former debaters in EDC (English Debating Community) are all successful person nowadays? This is what my trainer had told us (me & other debaters), he told us the advantages of debating in our future. Damn cool, dude!

4.50 PM

the joyous moment started

My bf picked me up. At first we were planning to catch up our friends in the reuniting of our former class in JHS. But unfortunately, I couldn't make any contacts with any of them. So, we went to plan B, spending our time together in MKG.

5.20 PM - 9.20 PM

I can't type what we've done together. Hehehe. Bukan karena apa-apa, I just can't describe how I was feeling at that time. Terlalu senaaaaaang. Hahaha

The main activity was watching movie, of course. We watched Knowing. Keren sih, emang kereng deng. Hahaha. Cuma akhirnya agak gak ngena gitu.

Oh ya lupa. Gue sama dia ngatri beli tiketnya aje sampe 30 menit. Tapi kok gak kerasa ya? Hahaha.

Gue : (ngeliat jam) Eh, kita udah 20 menit loh ngantrinya. Kok gak kerasa, ya?

Dia : Karena kita ngobrol, makanya gak berasa.

Actually, I can't believe that I remembered most of our conversation. Tentu gak akan gue tulis di sini lah. Obrolan basa-basi, but indeed it killed time. I've never been that connected with anyone else. When I was with him, I really am enjoying the flow.

9.50 PM

arrived at home

Dia nganterin gue pulang. Yeah, memang biasa, but for me, everything that happened that eve was a blast. Terlalu menyenangkan sampe gue bingung gimana ngejelasinnya. Hehehe

Thanks for everything :D

New Layout!

2009-04-24T23:38:00.005+07:00

Hell-O!

Wooow, it's 11:39 PM already. I don't realize it xp.

What do you think about my new layout? Isn't it good, eh? hahahahaha. Actually I spent nearly an hour to make this thing right. I'm a rookie. Hahaha. Thanks to Falcon-Hive whose blog had helped me built up my own blog. (I've linked it's url, just click it! Feel free if you wanna try)

Errrrr, I think I'm such a brat tonight. Hahaha. Tomorrow I've gotta be in LIA at 7.30 AM, I don't think I'll make it on time if I don't sleep earlier (and it's already too late, again. Hahaha).

Anyway, I've been selected to participate in Student Debate in LIA. Can you believe it? I can't at first, hahaha, but then the reality hit me so bad. kidding xp. Wish me luck for tomorrow's training. Okay? Hehehe

Geeeez, I'm so weird tonight. Don't you notice that I laugh so much in this post? Errrrr, weirdo!

Huah. I really need to sleep right now. Guten Abend!

It's Late Already

2009-04-24T01:30:00.001+07:00

For the past couple hour, I barely can't sleep.

Now it's 1:31 AM.

I wish I can rest my head for a while from thinking. Geez, literally it drives me crazy. Being awake with hundred thoughts, yet, alone.

I keep staring at my notebook's monitor, don't know what to do, or what to write. Actually, this is what I usually do when I get bored, staring at my lovely notebook with thoughts running through my head, yet, it's empty at the same time.

I guess, I'll try to sleep, then. I can't survive for the morning with a restless brain. Still got a lotta home works to do!

Yeah, I hope I can finally sleep.

1:37 AM, oh, too late, nis.

12:49 AM

2009-04-24T00:56:00.000+07:00

terkadang waktu berjalan lebih lambat

ketika kau menunggu kawanmu

sudah lama lewat waktu perjanjian

ia belum juga datang

terkadang waktu berjalan lebih lambat

saat belajar pelajaran yang tak kau sukai

matamu hanya terpaku pada jam dinding

'masih lama sekali usai'

terkadang waktu berjalan lebih lambat

saat kau hendak bertemu dia

tak sabar ingin menghabiskan waktumu

membagi cerita suka dan duka

namun tahukah kawan?

aku merasakan waktu berjalan sangat lambat

ketika aku sedih dan kesepian

dan saat ini,

waktu berjalan sangat lambat untukku

Home works (Yaiks)

2009-04-23T19:16:00.000+07:00

As what you've seen on the top of this post, yeah, dude, I'm going to talk about home works.

For heavens sake, I'm not going to discuss anything of them actually. I AM frustrated of making those creepy things my teachers called home work. "Do it, Students! I'm giving it for a greater good".

Aaaaaaarghh!

I hate home works, really. Bukan karena gue anak bandel atau semacamnya ya (believe it or NOT! hahaha). I and other 1st and 2nd high-schooler got a full week holiday in spite of the 3rd grader's national exam. Yeah, it's a lotta like bersenang-senang di atas penderitaan orang lain, sih. Hahaha. Tapi sayangnya, gue dan angkatan gue yang bersekolah di sebuah Public School gak bisa menikmati seminggu indah tersebut. We've got a lotta home works to do. Sangat banyak sodara-sodara! Tidaaaaaaaaak!

Oke, mungkin sangat banyak sangat lebay.

Back to the topic. I have six home works from five different subjects.

1. Bahasa Indonesia

Pada mata pelajaran yang sangat sangat diremehkan oleh para pelajar sekalian ini, kelas gue disuruh bikin esai bahasa indonesia mengenai : Pemilu 2009 dan Esai Beasiswa. Perhatikan penggunaan kata DAN bukan ATAU.

2. Bahasa Indonesia (lagi)

Kali ini gurunya beda dari yang di atas. Beliau nyuruh kami buat menampilkan sebuah drama bertemakan bebas. Kelompok gue dapet giliran ke-2. But I don't think that we're ready to act. hahaha. Gue dan teman-teman di kelompok gue sama sekali belom pernah latihan. dan, sekarang sudah H-6. (Kami memang jagoan! Hahaha)

3. Biologi

Buat mapel yang ini, I thank the teacher so much. gak susah-susah amat. We only need to make (or search) 50 problems in a form of multiple choice, plus its answer key. Gue Alhamdulillah sih udah nyelesain yang ini.

4. Kimia

Ibu guru kami tercinta, dia ngasih kami fotokopi soal-soal kimia. I'm glad that she don't give us an expert problem, cuma yang lumayan-lumayan aja. Yang ini juga untung udahan, bolong 3 sub-soal doang. hahaha

5. Bahasa Jerman

Guru pelajaran yang satu ini emang paling rese. Maunya macem-macem aja deh. Males gue ngejelasin tugas dari dia. rebeeeeeek!

6. Bahasa Inggris

Expository Essay.

We're given 8 Topics to be chosen and to expand it as our essay.

Dan yang paling menyebalkan, those 8 topics aren't something which is sooooo easy to elaborate. It's damn hard so I need to find its definition in the internet. Emang paling-paling nih guru-guru gue.

Oke, tugasnya udah kelar. But unfortunately, I've got Maths and Bio Exams to do in the next week.

Emang paling-paling kan? baru masuk langsung ulangan. Dasar sekolah jaman sekarang, nyusain banget deh ah.

"Banyak PR kan berarti latihan buat menghadapi masalah di masa depan"

Okay I agree on that statement, but I don't think that MUCH of home works. Ah yasudah, gue masih harus ngerjain peer. Adios fellas!

Happy Happy Birthday!

2009-04-18T20:49:00.000+07:00

Tomorrow is my dearest friend's birthday!

senang sekali rasanyaaa. padahal bukan gue yang ulang tahun, tapi gue malah kesenengan hahaha. mungkin aneh banget, tapi nggak tau kenapa akhir-akhir ini emang jadi lebih cepat senang. hahaha. eh kayaknya gue tahu alesannya deh. i've posted it before.

so, teman gue yang sangat gue sayangi itu bernama Marsha Amanda Rizky. ulang taun ke-17. jadi lo semua tau lah gimana excitednya dia dan orang-orang di sekitarnya (including me, of course). sebetulnya sangat mudah memberi hadiah sama dia, hehehe. everyone know she has a big crush on Elmo. tinggal kasih dia serba serbi Elmo, dia pasti seneng berat. hehehe

Tapi gue gak mau cuma ngasih dia sesuatu yang dengan mudah bisa dibeli siapa saja dimana saja kapan saja. hehehe. I decided to give her something special. I thought very hard, thinking and thinking and thinking. Finally i got an answer! hehehe.

gue akhirnya memutuskan untuk membuat boneka Elmo. yeah, I'll make my own Elmo special for her. hehehe

bahan utama : kain flanel

sekitar jam 2an gue memutuskan buat pergi beli kain tersebut di sebuah pasar deket rumah gue. tapi sebelomnya gue mesti submit registration form student debate milik temen gue dulu ke LIA. gue ngebajak adek gue buat nemenin gue melanglang buana hari ini. siapa juga yang mau sendirian naik motor jalan-jalan dari pulo asem - pramuka - balai pustaka - pulo asem lagi? hahaha.

but anyway, i hate the look of the people when they see me ride my motorcycle. heeeey gue udah punya siiim, kenapa? gak suka?

gue sebel dengan pandangan mereka yg seolah-olah bilang, "anaknya siapa nih? sok-sokan bawa motor segala". ngejatohin mental, hahaha. mau sih bilang "bodo amat", tapi nggak gitu juga. ahaha

okay back to the topic. di sunan giri (the place where i bought flannel), gue kemudian parkirin motor gue diantara motor-motor yang lain. dan tukang jam yang kebetulan di depan gue pun bercandain gue. "aduh, neng, bawa motor?". ah sebeeeeeel. *apanya yang kembali ke topik coba? hahaha

oke, beneran back to the topic.

abis gue beli bahannya, kemudian gue pulang dan mengerjakan boneka + gantungan kunci itu. cukup lama sih gue ngerjainnya, sekitar 3 jam sudah diselingi makan dan sholat. emang gak rapi, sih, tapi at least i did it from my heart. hehehe

besok gue mau ke rumahnya. gue juga seneng waktu dia bilang dia seneng kalo ada temen cewek yang main ke rumahnya. udah lama banget gak ada yang begitu. hehehe

ini nih, hasil kerja keras gue:

okay i know, bener-bener gak rapi. hahaha.

but i'm happy that i've made that thing for her. I wish she'll like it. hehehe

Happy Birthday dear Marsha Amanda Rizky :D

Terlalu Banyak Tertawa = Sial (?)

2009-03-25T21:32:00.000+07:00

This evening, I got a very threatening day.

For the prologue, anggaplah kalian melihat gue di sebuah bilik kecil dalam ruangan besar yang memiliki banyak bilik. Gue berada di bilik tersebut bersama tiga orang wanita. Two of them were sitting conveniently on their chairs, face to face separated by a wooden desk. Another one was standing next to me.

At that time, I wanted to cry. A lot.

Gue seperti dipojokkan oleh mereka bertiga. They didn't accept any excuses.

I'll tell you the exact story why this shit happened.

Jadi, gue adalah salah satu murid dari sebuah tempat kursus bahasa Inggris (I won't reveal the name, sorry. But i think you can guess it later). Kelas gue cuma terdiri dari 10 orang murid. At the first time, we were 11 happy pupils. But one of my friend had to postpone her study in spite of having a chance to occupy UI's empty chair. Okay, that's not important, anyway. Jadi setelah tiga buln berlalu, gue akhirnya bakal menghadapi Oral Test, ujian akhir yang berupa interview.

Guru gue pada level ini adalah seorang Rookie, dia baru pertama kali mengajar kelas level tersebut. She haven't had many experiences, yet. She told us that the Oral Test was going to be divided in to two shifts. First five person got the first day, another five got the second day. She said the Oral Test was going to be longer than the Oral Test in the previous level. Unfortunately, gue juga Rookie. gue bahkan baru masuk ke tempat kursus tersebut di level itu. gue sama sekali buta soal Oral Test tersebut, maupun yang sebelumnya. jadi gue berasumsi dalam hati, "Oke, I got the second day. Hari Senen libur berarti". (I am in the Mon-Wed classes).

Akhirnya, tibalah hari penentuan yang jatuh pada hari ini. Gue bahkan dateng teramat sangat cepat. The class starts at 5 o'clock, but I was already there at 4 o'clock. gue pun langsung solat, terus naik ke lantai 3, menunggu dengan sabar sambil melanjutkan baca e-book Twilight. satu jam yang amat membosankan andai saja gak ada yang menemani gue secara virtual. hahaha

Dalam penantian gue tersebut, guru kelas gue kebetulan lewat. She instantly said that my other 8 friends had had their Oral Test, so that me and one of my friend were the last to come up. WHAT? WAS SHE SERIOUS? I THOUGHT 5 PERSON TO COME THIS DAY AND IT WOULD BE ONLY TWO? INSANE! gue pun tetap harap-harap cemas. untung aja dia juga membawa kabar baik bahwa nilai Written Test gue untuk Writing dapet nilai 5. Well, at least I didn't need to be that scared.

It's 5.15 p.m, guru yang akan meng-Oral gue belum juga masuk kelas

gue akhirnya memutuskan buat lapor. Dari lantai 2, gue dioper ke lantai 4, ke ruang guru. gue pun bertanya dengan sopan tentang guru yang akan meng-Oral gue. Resepsionisnya bilang, "Kata gurunya kelas itu udahan Oralnya". Gue shock. bener" shock. Gue sebisa mungkin menjelaskan bahwa gue dan temen gue harusnya Oral hari ini. Dia pun mengoper gue ke bilik tersebut, ya, bilik yang jadi setting pertama posting ini.

Ibu" Dekat Gue (IDG) : "HI-1 kan udah semua"

Gue : "Masih ada dua orang lagi, Ma'am"

Ibu" di balik Meja (IBM) : "Kok bisa?"

Ibu" di depan Ibu" di balik Meja (IDIBM) : "Kelasnya 10 orang kan? Harusnya selesai dalam sehari. Why don't you come on Monday?"

Gue : "I thought Miss *** had divided us in to two shifts"

IDIBM : "YOU thought. Why don't you ask?"

*gue mulai kebingungan dan cuma bisa diem.

IBM : "Harusnya udah selesai. Kenapa kamu gak dateng? What level? HI-1?" *mengecek arsip

Gue : "Miss *** said that thing"

*IDIBM memandangi gue dengan tatapan nggak suka. Gue mulai jiper, banget. Saat itu gue mencoba mengeluarkan suara, tetapi gak jadi karena airmata gue mulai menetes (iya gue tau gue cengeng).

IDG : "Jangan sedih"

Gue : (dalam hati) "Dikeroyok gini, gimana gak nangis coba?"

IBM dan IDIBM terus memojokkan gue. Maaf banget gue agak lemah soal memanggil kemari memori gue. Gue lupa kata-kata apa aja yang udah mereka keluarin sampe bikin gue sedih sesedih sedihnya.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, gue pun berbicara

Gue : (sesenggukan) "Saya baru masuk term ini"

IBM, IDIBM, dan IDG agak kaget denger statement gue barusan

IBM : "What level?"

IDG : "HI-1"

*IDIBM diam aja nggak menimpali

IBM : "HI-1? Pinter dong. Well, let's see"

HUAAAAAAAAAH. jiper banget gue digituin. akhirnya gue dan temen gue pun oral di tempat itu, bilik kecil berkenangan buruk. Gue sangat sangat amat tertekan. Fortunately I could control my emotion while having the Oral Test. I saw 4 in one of my score (that's the only one I could see from blockade). Yah, at least insya Allah gue naik level.

Pengalaman Oral Test pertama yang sangat tidak menyenangkan

Setelah gue ingat-ingat lagi, tadi siang gue terlalu banyak ketawa di sekolah. Temen-temen gue di XI IPA E ngelawak sampe perut gue sakit banget. Yah, tau lah bagaimana kehidupan anak SMA jaman sekarang. Hahahaha.

At that time, gue sangat sangat bahagia dan gak terpikir sedikitpun buat bersedih ataupun menurunkan mood gue yang at the top peak itu. Gue bener" ngakak sengakak-ngakaknya deh. Bareng-bareng sama anak-anak cowok yang hobi ngebanyol, ngisi suatu jam pelajaran Jerman.

Tapi ternyata, terlalu bahagia juga terkadang nggak baik. Yeah, we have our own life wheels. Sometimes on top, other time we fall down to the lowest point. Ada suka, ada duka. Itu memang harus terjadi. Karena gue terlalu senang dan terlalu banyak ketawa, gue langsung dijatohin ke tanah sama Yang di Atas biar gue gak lama" terbang di atas awannya. Gue makhluk bumi, gak pantes buat terbang karena gue gak punya ability buat itu.

Well, jangan terlalu banyak ketawa lah. Hahaha.

Mood Booster :D

2009-03-21T11:46:00.000+07:00

March 21st, 2009

A fine Saturday morning

This morning I was late. Errrr, I should be at school before 9 o'clock, but I failed. I woke up at 9. bego dasar. padahal sekolah hari ini sangat penting demi masa depan. *aaaaah beteeeek

tapi yaudahlah, yang udah terjadi ya udah deh terjadi aja. jadi orang yang pasrah itu enak banget, nerima semua apa adanya karena itu udah ketentuan dari yang di atas.

Okay, back to the topic (topik apa?).

akhirnya sabtu pagi yang 'indah' ini gue isi dengan melakukan kegiatan yang biasa biasa saja. online, buka facebook, sambil smsan. Clearly nothing special happened. But this Saturday is different.

Actually, it's not only this Saturday, but the ENTIRE past week.

I just wanna share my happiness with everyone :D

seminggu terakhir ini, I had a very fantastic, full of joy, week. I remember so well that I have never felt this way before. biasanya gue merasa senang karena sesuatu cuma satu atau dua hari, pada hari-H, dan hari berikutnya. tapi kemudian, kebahagiaan itu menguap begitu saja di hari selanjutnya. I don't know why it passed up so easily like that, I don't wanna know, though, neither necessary nor important for me.

Huaaaaaah, senang sekali rasanyaaaa.

My friend told me that my mood had boosted up for the past few weeks (yeaa i know the only reason behind it). mereka juga bilang 'tumben tumbenan banget nis lo seseneng itu, tiap hari seneng banget'. hahahahahahaha. I used to be a serious school-girl who laughed not-so-much and talked secukupnya aja (kecuali kalo ada yang ngelawak, itu juga gue cuma ketawa, gak pake ikut-ikutan ngelawak). tapi di luar itu semua, gue cuma bisa diem. dan kalo gue diem, tampang gue emang gak enak. hahahaha

I've changed a lot.

geeez I never thought I'll walk this far. If i look back to the past days, I'm glad that I've walked away from all of the memories that burdened me too deep. I'm stronger, tougher, and less emotional now.

I gladly say thanks for someone who've made me feel this way.

sudah seminggu berlalu, tapi kebahagiannya belum juga hilang. terimakasih banyaaaaak :D

Berfikir Logis, Jadi Dewasa

2009-03-14T23:25:00.000+07:00

Hell-o everyone!

It’s been so long since I posted my last post. Kind of busy of school (yes I AM busy)

Wednesday night

Akhirnya gue menarik kembali sebuah keputusan yang gue putuskan pada hari Kamis minggu sebelumnya. I feel relieved. It’s just like I was born again.

Semakin dewasa, semakin matang pemikiran seseorang.

Definitely agree!

Dulu gue memutuskan segala sesuatu yang akan gue kerjakan dalam hidup cuma sekedar mikir semenit dua menit. Apa yang harus gue kerjakan, bagaimana gue akan mengerjakannya, dan bagaimana nanti kalau sudah dikerjakan semuanya diluar perhitungan. Yang penting adalah: saat itu gue suka sama apa yang gue mau. Padahal kan belum tentu itu yang terbaik. Iya kan?

Oke, back to the topic. Jadi pada hari Selasa seminggu sebelum hari Rabu naas itu, gue memutuskan buat mengakhiri sesuatu. Keputusan itu gue ambil setelah perjalanan panjang selama sebulan buat mempertimbangkan baik-buruknya akibat dari apa yang akan gue ambil itu. Rabu itu, gue siap. That was the time when I’ve decided which path to step on.

Dan setelah gue menjalankan keputusan itu, naluri kewanitaan (caelah) gue bekerja. Segala sesuatu yang terjadi kemudian mempengaruhi gue lagi. Perasaan gue jadi gak enak karena udah ngambil keputusan itu (yang secara logika adalah yang terbaik). Ini yang menyebabkan mengapa wanita lumayan sulit berhasil kalau jadi pemimpin. Kami (setuju lah semua wanita di dunia hahaha) dipengaruhi emosi dalam menjalankan segala sesuatu. In spite of that, gue dengan bodohnya menarik keputusan tersebut pada Kamis sore. See? Gue merusakkan pemikiran panjang gue buat mengakhiri semuanya hanya karena emosi semalam? Bego. I’m definitely not ready for being mature.

Belajar menjadi dewasa

Akhirnya gue memutuskan buat mengesampingkan perasaan gue dalam mengambil keputusan tersebut. Karena toh ternyata keputusan goblok gue buat meng-cancel semuanya malah berakibat buruk karena masalah gue nggak juga selesai. Kali ini gue menghabiskan waktu seminggu penuh buat berpikir apa yang lebih baik gue pilih. And I chose not to continue it. Gue kembali pada keputusan awal yang sudah gue pikir matang-matang. Dan sejauh waktu yang sudah gue habiskan dengan keputusan gue itu, it is really the best decision I’ve ever made.

Berfikir logis sangat menguntungkan

I can’t even object the statement. 100% agree

my crazy classmates

2009-02-15T16:08:00.000+07:00

mengenai judul post gue kali ini...

Date : February, 15th 2009
Time : about 8.30 a.m.
Location : SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta

gue dan berpuluh-puluh anak kelas gue sedang menunggu kedatangan teman gue. si oknum x dan y yang terlambat datang dari waktu yang dijanjikan.

well, for the prologue...
kelas gue memutuskan bakal foto buat bt 2009 hari ini. temanya sleepovers gitu, kami semua harus pake piyama (well, at least the clothes you put on for sleeping, which includes sarung dan boxer bagi para lelaki), bermuka bantal, bawa-bawa perlengkapan tidur kayak bantal, guling, boneka. oke, fix! ngumpul di sekolah jam 7, humas buat foto bt kali ini juga udah ngasih jartel (jaringan telekomunikasi, yang biasanya dilakukan via sms) supaya kami semua ON TIME (she wrote it CAPITALIZED)

dan lo tau lah kebiasaan orang Indonesia.
yep, ngaret

bukan karena gue kesel mereka belom dateng jam segitu. gue juga ngaret soalnyaaa. hahaha.

guess what? oknum x dan y yang diberitakan ternyata mengalami kecelakaan. well, bukan kecelakaan yang ekstrim banget sampe masuk rumah sakit, si oknum x nabrak mobil lain. dia buru-buru bawa mobil sampe akhirnya nabrak. untung aja yang ditabrak ternyata tetangganya, jadi urusannya langsung diambil alih kedua orang tuanya (oknum x bahkan belum punya sim, hahaha). lalu oknum x dan oknum y terpaksa melanjutkan perjalanan ke sekolah dengan naik transjakarta di warung buncit sana.

habis cerita soal tabrak menabrak. kami semua sampai di TKF (Tempat Kejadian Fotografi) setelah sebelumnya konvoy yang aneh. kepisah-pisah gitu. kelas gue emang aneh. malemnya yang bilang bisa sediain transport cuma 3 orang, nggak taunya hari ini muncul 8 mobil. grrr. di rumah oknum z (masih teman sekelas kami juga) kami melepas lelah, berganti kostum, terus chit-chat soal gimana bakal foto nanti. tapi tiba-tiba si oknum z marah" karena rumahnya berantakan, lempar" tas yang menurutnya diletakkan tidak pada tempatnya. yaaah, gue sendiri sih jadi nggak enak, mending gue pulang daripada mood anak" yang lain gak enak kayak gitu.
udah dua masalah aja hari ini.

okelah, buat menjaga profesionalitas, kami semua melanjutkan sesi foto" di taman deket rumah oknum z. nggak terlalu memuaskan. gue juga cuma foto" temen sekelas gw yang posenya rada aneh. and here comes bobon. geblek banget fotonya.

lo pasti gak percaya ototnya bisa sebagus itu (so do I!), tapi itu cuma akal-akalan tu anak aje. sebelomnya foto dia seperti ini:

hmh, emang dasar si bobon (gue udah capek menyebut oknum). ada lagi nih, dika (yang sipit) sama mirsa (yang botak). ada adaaa aja deh temen sekelas gue.

well, that's all, if you wanna see more, please see it in my facebook profile, click here

aaaaah mood gue lagi nggak bagus nih. belom ngerjain peer bahasa indonesia. guru gue menyuruh gue untuk membuat cerpen bertemakan tukang becak. diketik rapi minimal 2 halaman. aaaaaaaah i hate it!
gue suka sih ngarang, but it depends on my mood, not on the purpose. haaaaah

udah ah, mau ngarang dulu. se ya soon!

Trailer KambingJantan the Movie

2009-02-08T13:30:00.000+07:00

by the way,
as what you've seen on the top of this page, I really really want you all to see this one :

eh bang dika, ini gak menyalahi aturan copyrighted-copyrighted itu kan? hahahaha

sudah gak sabar rasanya menanti bulan Maret. huaaaaaaaaah
how 'bout you guys? do you feel the same? am i only dreaming, is this burning, an eternal flame. (loh loh loh?)

oh ya, kemaren gue ketimpa musibah. ibarat udah jatoh, pake ketimpa tangga segala. hahaha. oke I start the story to make it short.
gue adalah seseorang yang agak maniak soal membaca, as well as writing, jadi buat gue gak ada hari tanpa membaca. entah itu buku fiksi, koran, majalah, sampai buku non-fiksi macem buku pelajaran (but this always be my last option of reading, of course). berhubung gue dikasih e-booknya twilight saga sama temen gue, ya udah gue baca aja.
sebelumnya gue baca new moon, yang agak mengecewakan, maaf. bagian-bagian awalnya bener" dull, boring, payaaaaaaaaaaah! gue pikir bukunya emang nggak bagus, dan temen-temen gue aja yang lebay sampe bilang itu buku paling bagus. tapi ternyata setelah gue baca e-book twilight (which is in English), gue menarik ulang kata-kata gue.
emang buku terjemahan jarang yang bisa sebagus aslinya, begitulah pikiran gue.

okay, I'll go straight.
gue kemudian menyesal nggak jadi nonton twilight waktu temen" gue ngajak. gue bener" penasaran sama fantasi nya Stephenie Meyer soal si vampir dan keluarganya ini. and then, I browsed the full-movie in internet, yang gratis tentu saja. hahaha. gue menemukannya di blog seseorang. besarnya sekorat 700 MB. gue pun berpikir praktis, okelah, it'll be worth after it has be done.

Downloaded : 572 MB
Transfer Rate : 30 KB/second
Time Left : 1 hour 23 minutes
gila seneng banget gue tinggal bentar lagi. gue udah download sekitar 7 jaman (7 zaman? hahaha). udah capek gue nungguin lama bener. capek nggak lo? hahaha
dan tiba-tiba......

Transfer Rate : 0 KB/second
Time Left : 24 hours (terus bergerak sampai 72 jam)
oke, speedy gue disconnected. gue masih berusaha tenang, menunggu serta me-re-established koneksi speedy.
kemudian...
timbullah pop up pembawa bencana. dia bilang donlotan gue failed.
TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! nyapek-nyapekin aja nunggu 7 jam kemudian malah failed kayak gitu.

gue dizalimi.
sial.

and after all, what I'd posted in the last days, that's not what I am, actually. hahaha
I really like to laugh a lot, having a joke, playing with others. I wrote those posts in a not-so-good mood. so that I was a mellodramatic person.

Dillema

2009-01-31T12:24:00.000+07:00

Feelings.
That words confuses me a lot. Sometimes I think I do like someone, but other time I think I don't. My feelings are usually fluctuated any time. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. This time I hate it, and other time I love it the most. Weird (I've told ya).

I've been a year, a month, three weeks, and a day bounded with someone.
I'm hoping that he won't read this, I won't let him figure this thing out. He's not an internet freak anyway. He is really nice, though. He always makes me feel better every time I seat next to him.

Our first meeting was in a course. We were in the same class of first grader of Junior High. We were strangers. We came from different Elementary School, and also different Junior High School. We were perfectly in a gap. We only recognize each other as a 'course mate' and that was enough. Nothing special bothered both of us for the rest of our course in Junior High. Me and him? No way.

And so, we went into high school, and again, different high school. but still the same course, and the same class.
I, still having an indifference of what he means for me, was doing my high school life normally. I did enjoy my new life, new friends, new atmosphere. I like him as a friend, though. Someone who only accepts my presence and has nothing to do with it. In short, we're still strangers. I was not in a condition where I tend to know him more than I'd known him.

For heavens sake, I felt really interested in him, finally.
I didn't understand what had happened on earth. I started to like him more than a friend. I liked to stare at him from a distance, smile every time I saw him, dreaming of being close with him. I couldn't even explain the cause of my action. It's just it. The thing that my friend called it love. I still didn't think it's true, it was too mature for me. And in short, he loved me in return and asked me to be his girlfriend.

I said yes and we are going steady. Until now.
A year had made me study his life and how he live his life. To my surprise, I found him quite different than what I'd expected him to be. We are different. If I'm a dreamer, then he's a reality believer. If I'm a sensitive one, then he's the opposite. Most of my thoughts are 180 degrees from his'. My friend told me that if two person were in a bound, it's the similarity that made them feel the same way of each other. Do we have a similarity until now?
My mom told me that he loves me so much. I know he feels that way. But I don't feel that we are the love birds that complete each other. Being with him is fun, but its joy is the same like when I am being with my friends.
I don't know what I mean to him. I'm not sure if I can love him in return for the rest of my life. I don't feel complete every time I'm with him.

But he is so kind to me, he loves me, really.
Should I walk away from him? Leaving him and coming back as a strangers, again?

I like him anyway. My heart told me not to stay but I refuse. I don't wanna hurt him. What should I do?

Yet, Weird Things Happened

2009-01-30T21:29:00.000+07:00

Hello everyone, need a short explanation of who I am? Or actually what I am maybe. hahaha
I'm just ordinary, and an unnoticed school girl who wants to be someone for somewhat. haven't found who am I, though. ain't it hard?

Last night I was kinda busy of something called homework. ugh, I hate it the most, really.Well, it is not because of I'm a rule breaker or what. I like homework only when it is not too hard. Hehe, kidding XP.

The homework really drove me crazy.
Okay, let me tell you. this assignment was for my English lesson (notice it: English). The teacher told us (me and my classmates) to get ready to present a good presentation about a country on the last day of the first semester. I was absent that day (don't think that I am such that brat, it was useless to go to school those days. the semester was going to fade anyway) and the teacher (I revealed her name in honor, Miss Dessy) divided us into 8 groups which consisted of 5 person per group. I was in a group along with my besties Marsha, Meli, and Bidari. The other one was Arief, can't call him besties ya know? We got El Salvador to be presented in front of the class in the first meeting of English in the second semester. Yea, there was a lotta time, but not really.
Holiday erased all of the plan to do the work. Who wants to be involved in a work while they were doing holidays? Crazy.

So the second semester stepped in my way.
The progress? Still zero, of course! Hahaha
Okay, for short, we were finally starting it on the second week of this semester. I told Marsha to divide the work for the five of us because I was absent and I know nothing at all! Well, fyi, the presentation was divided into 7 parts:
1. About the Country (this was Marsha's to do)
2. History (Mine)
3. Economy (Meli)
4. Politics (Meli)
5. Education (Arief)
6. Art and Culture (Marsha)
7. Tourism Spots (Bidari)
We all struggled to get this thing done. We were under pressure. We want to give the best no matter what it took us. I really love to please everyone for true.
For heavens sake, it took nearly half of my bedtime to finish it and to polish the entire presentation, and also the paper. I was the one my groups believed to be the editor. Insane! I absolutely shorten 3 hours of my bedtime everyday. What a nuisance!

Today we presented it in front of Miss Dessy.
I was quite disappointed when she received a phone call. It was kinda disturbing and annoying. Hey! Someone's talking to you and you talked to anyone else! Whatever, then. I'd done my best, and also my friends, too. We were doing good (i don't use great, see?). Miss Dessy stated that the groups are getting better, which is an implisively sentence of our group is better than the previous one. I was once feel relief. Great, my sweats now worth while.

I know that we will earn more if we give more. That's what I'm up to, and Marsha, too. I love her so much. Hehe
Being classmates for the last two years have been a very delightful moment for me. I don't say that we're that best in some ways, but I feel that we have a same heartbeat. Hahaha kidding :)
I just love her as if she were my sibling. Being from not recognizing each other into a bonds that is quite hard to broke (again, I don't say it as a thing that wouldn't be broken. but i hope not).

And after all, weird does exist in my vocabulary. It just like the air I breathe everyday, exists, but unnoticed.